Stephanie
Connie, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project.

Connie
You really don't have to do that.

Stephanie
I know - that's what makes me so nice!
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I...
And let's face it - who isn't? - less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed...
And when someone needs a makeover,
I simply have to take over!
I know - I know...
Exactly what they need!
And even in your case...
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face...
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed...
Follow my lead...
and yes in-deed, you will solve...
Rubik's Cubes!
You're gonna solve Rubik's Cubes!
I'll teach you what cubes to use...
And which algs to choose!
Little ways to fingertrick...
Ooh!
I'll show you the proper moves...
How to hold your cube...
Everthing that that needs to stick to solve...
Rubik's Cubes!
I'll help you solve Rubik's Cubes!
You'll hang with the proper crew...
You'll be good at cubes...
Know the slang you've got to know.
So let's start,
'cause you've got an awfully long way to go!
Don't be offended by my Frunk analysis,
Think of it as intellectual dialysis,
Now that I've chosen to become...
A pal, a sister, and advisor,
There's nobody wiser!
Not when it comes to...
Rubik's Cubes!
I know about Rubik's Cubes!
And with an assist from me...
To be who you'll be...
Instead of vapid who you were... well, are...
There's nothing that can stop you...
from becoming a cuber! ...bar!
La, la... la, la...
We're gonna solve your Ru-bik's Cubes!
When I see sad Berkeley students,
With bad academic prudence,
I remind them on their own behalf...
To - think - of
Records with the dub'-C-A,
Or those who're great at commutators!
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!
They just solved Rubik's Cubes!
Please... it's all about Rubik's Cubes.
It's not about aptitude...
It's the cuber mood...
So it's very shrewd to be...
Very good at Rubik's Cubes...
Like... me!
Why, Miss Connie Chen, look at you...
Your cube's wonderful.

Connie
I... I have to go...

Stephanie
You're welcome...
And though you protest... your disinterest...
I know clandestinely,
You're gonna spin and turn it!
Your newfound Rubik's Cubity!
Ah!
La, la... la, la!
You'll solve Rubik's Cubes!
Just not quite as fast at solving cubes...
As... meeeee!